


Candlelight

by graspthesanity



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:50:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20053075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graspthesanity/pseuds/graspthesanity
Summary: Demyx and Xigbar live in cycles, waiting for the light to expire.





	1. Chapter 1

I couldn’t feel something new now, it didn’t make sense. Waking up, all I did was feel as if my body was getting attached to a new one, some new plan which made no sense. I was a pawn, I always felt like one, specifically when Xigbar shook me all those days, or was it years back? I didn’t know what time meant. My head would just split in half when I would see the man with one eye look at me. Once he had snuck into my bedroom, as I had just finished a shower and he was humming a song which I had sang in my dream the night before, explaining that it was as old as the light was.

“Didn’t you say the light was going to expire?” I had asked him, taking both of us back, as I attempted to dry my mohawk mess of a hair. I didn’t put much product in it, due to the pest in my room. Hair could’ve been dealt with later.

“Demyx…” He said quietly, grinning like a happy blood-thirsty shark. “That was something you’d use to tell me.”

A silence would be between us, as he sat on my bed expecting something, maybe a command, and soon enough I caught his innuendo, but I didn’t care who I had been before. I knew that I was a somebody but they had no connection to what I was now. I knew that Xigbar wanted us to play our own game, where we would just blow out the candle of light forever, because we knew how to dwell with light no longer playing.

It’s not like creatures of the dark realm just manifest in light. We needed to aid ourselves.

I didn’t like his idea of going away so soon, so I jumped on him, pinning him down and his face softened, eye closed, chin lifted, but I did nothing.

I knew that soon we would be able to turn off light entirely and no one knew anything about it.

Xigbar… Luxu… He saw everything. That’s why I commanded him to remove his eye, because I knew that he would never leave my side, he would tell me like a puppy. I’d get reborn and so would he. We were playing a game of cards where we would shuffle and some side would win, the other would lose and there was no point in playing chess, because all we needed was luck.

Xehanort was an utter fool who craved things for himself, while we just wanted the light out. We were like darklings, our Chirithies long lost and looking at the world with their red eyes, cackling as if everything had been lost and nothing gained.

I looked at the man who was aging underneath me, not understanding how come the hand of time was so kind to me, when scars, a missing eye and age was playing on his skin. But then maybe that was the price… because I couldn’t understand Luxu-

Luxu’s loyalty towards me, how he had held onto the keyblade with his own eye for so long only to tell me in hushed whispers that he would get it back. It didn’t make sense.

Nothing did. It felt like he had taken my plan and my hand and drawn all over the blueprints with all the things that have been missing. Why was my mind gone and why was I different?

I gave in and I let my body go on top of his, my nose against the cheek underneath his seeing eye. He opened it and turned to face me.

“You’re so young.” He told me and I just shrugged. He was taking all the possible blows, which made no sense, but then I’ve lived a thousand lives and I’d make myself die as soon as possible, keep my head down and pluck the strings of my sitar to avoid confrontation, to not babble and to make as much sense as was needed.

“It’s so strange…” Luxu proceeded to talk quietly. “I always thought that it was how you would look forever with your hood up. A blonde. That’s quite a bubbly colour. As if you’d have dyed it for some other purpose like entertain a party. But then you weren’t one to show anyone anything… Only now, with you so young… When you’re reborn, I see what you always really were, Master.”

I look away. Indeed I have died one times too many. But what could we do? I couldn’t even remember last night’s dream even if I knew that I had Luxu wrapped around my finger deliberately and with his own feelings as he stroked my wet hair with his hand. Not to mention the fact that we were stuck in the castle that Never Was, not even bothering with

Xemnas trying to find a trio of children which we would only need later. All we needed was to confuse Sora.

What a boring life had I chosen now. I grabbed the pillow closer to me and stroked Luxu’s cheek hastily before getting off him, laying down and we watched each other in silence, no feelings said in this life. I remember vividly when we were lovers. But the night was sleepless, we just said nothing in the very beginning, as if replaying the memories of Daybreak Town which Luxu was first sought to destroy with our very own hands.

It wasn’t like I had asked him to flood the whole thing, or burn it down, but he felt and cried, already with one eye, that I had made him do it. I remember grabbing him by the coat, opening a portal and getting out just to be there at the right time.

Luxu knew that I had loved him, but it was a love he didn’t want, I thought. Among an array of lovers where one had the entire duration of an eternity, I still didn’t know how he could doubt himself for all the loyalty he had given me, even for the things which went past the scheming… For all the days we had played on the beach or wandered off into the snow, with both of us laughing that we could never come back, that we could screw the plan, that we could just let light fight itself over and never rewrite anything, let people’s greed take over and we’d still have the same results only we would be playing a chess board instead. We’d be watching as well, like a game of tennis, moving our head from side to side in boredom, seeing what Xehanort was up to and then how light would crawl up on our shirts.

But did it matter? It was a question Luxu had asked me. Why were we so keen on living in such a world?

I had turned to him, just like now, and said nothing, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead, before knocks could be heard from some shit Xemnas plan ahead of us where I would die first.


	2. Chapter 2

I knew that I would die soon, that I would die the first after the whole rebellion and fiasco at Castle Oblivion, when I feel like if I moved a finger the threads of time would unravel and show me the Ventus boy, whom I’ve heard of before. But I paid him little to no notice, for some reason I wanted a life this time where I could dip my feet in water and just let myself be, where I could eat ice cream on the beaches of Twilight Town’s outskirts since Daybreak was no longer available. You gotta get what you can, right?

Meeting any of the other members was always odd, as Luxu would just observe them all and let himself be midly entertained by a kid whose blocks would always fall down, because all we needed was the fall of Xemnas and Xehanort to obtain the keyblade with Luxu’s eye back.

I remember I asked once what would he do once he’d get it back and he just laughed. He could really put it back, once all would be said and done, but the problem was that nothing ever would be.

I remember going to the beach once and running into Axel on the way, in the same corridor, as he had called out to me. He thought that I had been the same age he was. It seemed odd to appear in the same place and his thought were gathered around Roxas. I knew that, so once we dipped our legs in water I wanted to enquire, but instead he just gave me a look, that he’d prefer it to be quiet. Which was odd of either of us not to talk and it was as if Roxas was deceased.

At the end of the beach holiday Roxas was still not mentioned and I put my hand on his shoulder, as his bright eyes looked at me, finally, brows nearly together from frustration.

“You’ll find him. He’s not lost.”

That was probably the most soothing thing I had told Axel.

Luxu that night was out as Axel pounded on my door.

“Is there something you know that I don’t, Demyx?” And he shook me in my coat, as I tried to make sense of a reality where I wasn’t sleeping at the time. Axel was desperate to know about his lover, but I let it be, I let him in, as he sat in my modest quarters, on the bed and I poured us both a glass of water, there was no need for anything fancy and Axel seemed to be burning, as if he knew, as if he actually knew that I had more answers than he would ever bargained for. Instead the water started boiling in his cup.

“Roxas… Xemnas doesn’t want me to even check on him, properly… He just says that everything will fall under, that the pieces aren’t ready yet! But so what if Roxas turned his back-“

I motion for him to continue and Axel looks at the window, scares that he might’ve spoken far too much.

“Axel… You honestly think I would snitch?” If it had merit, I would. But no one would listen to me in this young body. So I made little of it. I let the fire boy play with his lover.

“Go.” I stood up and opened the door. He got the hint.

I’d expect him dead soon and out of the picture, but he’d be more trouble, why not kickstart the fun sooner?

I was somehow... gaining power over this. I waited until Luxu came in and I jumped on him, like a heartless finding his prey and he held me. It wasn't like we hadn't fucked before. Love was such a light word, something I would soon lose control over. I knew that my end was near, so I bit his lower lip from lust until blood and he whimpered.

“You'll follow the plan, Luxu...” I said softly and turned him around. I didn't want to die.

I fucked him until I couldn't. We laid on the cold floor, completely nude and flaccid cocks. Xigbar's thin hair was untangled from his ponytail and I I went on top of him, kissing him harshly.

Did it matter that I would die?

I walked around a Roxas-less hall... Axel demanding an answer from me nearly every day, but did it matter? Luxu tried to avoid me and I knew I would die, so I would brush my teeth, pull my hood up and see my eyes glow, as if I were a nightmare. I would die.

How does it feel to know you'll be reborn? As a lover? As a Master?

Even if I bled, I wouldn't die. I would never die.

I vomited that morning because anxiety was a feature of young me.

It felt strange that there was a night, where both me and Luxu couldn't hold our hands off each other and we in the end made love, tongues struggling with the unfamiliar restrictions, as we had been lovers across time and worlds. Of course there had been jealousy from his end, that he didn't know the exact end, he just knew the plans, so his kisses were fiery and displeased that I had been to the end of time and like a bad lover, I knew when to make my exit. I could rewrite myself for all of eternity and erase it yet, all over again. So he was on top of me, it was a strange position, a strange shift of power, as I was younger and it hurt like a first time should really feel. But Luxu/Xigbar wouldn't stop until we were both spent and our kisses were nothing but saliva and blood.

Once Luxu fell asleep I heard Axel sneak into the corridors, in desperation... Never knowing what it was like to be the lost lover for good and to see all the outcomes intertwine until love, lust and life was forgotten...

So the next day the spectacle was supposed to begin, one of my many deaths and the emotional baggage that would come with Luxu crying or maybe at this age he had grown too used to it, up to the point that I had to remind myself that the one eyed man was my lover for good. I wanted to strike him down, but now I was weak and it was foolish of me... to demand death sooner of him, when we'd join again.

Again-

“Have you seen Roxas?” Axel whispered to me in hope, as I knew everything he had done , opened a portal, so that a half naked Luxu wouldn't spot us as he'd back to his mission. He pushed me inside and as soon as the portal closed, my wimpy hands were around Axel's neck.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of kept dreaming a story about these two, but once I woke up... I had forgotten all the plot, but the desire to keep writing it was strong within me, so here I am! Hope you enjoyed it! More to come.


End file.
